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Hey Guys,
Good Morning/ afternoon/ Mid-day/ Evening/ Mid-evening/ Whatever. It’s been a while has it not? Don’t look at me like that. Four days is a while. Anyway, I feel pretty happy today because uh…it’s none of your business to be honest but, I am really happy. Sometimes, I get happy for no good reason.

A few days ago on twitter, I tweeted something that sounded something like “the first time I pour out my heart to anyone, I want music to be playing in the background” I got ‘K’d for that tweet…very painful indeed but, it doesn’t matter. You know how it is in movies when someone’s about to say something really emotional and then, gbam! There’s music playing from nowhere. I think it’s really amazing and magical. I want that to happen to me. So, I’ve decided to drop out of school and become an actress. The dropping out bit was utter rubbish. I plan on being a Neurosurgeon so; I’m sort of stuck in school.

Yesterday night, I considered making that tweet a reality. Yes! I was going to give my confession to uh…let’s call him Mr Laye. As I was saying, I considered making my tweet a reality. I was going to force myself to get my fat African ass off my bed and, endure the 10 minute walk in the freezing cold weather. Magically get into the building that I have no key for, head straight for the elevator and punch the number “…”. Bang on the door of flat “….” And just say it. Y’know. Scream at the top of my voice like he couldn’t hear a word I was saying. A little hand action, A little exaggeration, A little too much. Shake my head occasionally so; it’s obvious that this is real. Breathe like I’ve been training with Usain Bolts, my way of allowing my emotions diffuse out. Maybe shed a few tears because, I’m dramatic like that. I’ll keep talking at the speed of light because; I wouldn’t want to miss any bit out of my perfectly planned confession. I’ll stare at the floor and say the three words once. Look up to him because he didn’t say anything the first time. I’ll take a dramatic pause and, then say it again and again and again.

Everywhere will be dead quiet now. I’d feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life. Adrenaline would begin to build up within me, I’d feel the urge to run far away. So, I’ll take one last look into the eyes of my lover. Oh I can’t call him that now because, I’ve just been officially rejected. I’ll take one last look into the eyes of the one person that I want but, cannot have and, turn around to begin my walk of shame. “Aku wait…there’s something I need to tell you. I think…” In a split of a second, I’ll run to him, my shaky, fragile hands upon his lips. I’m trying to stop him from completing his rejection speech. At the same time, I’ll whip out my phone *swipes to unlock* *music* *playlist* *emotional moments* “DON’T SAY DON’T SAY IT’S TOO LATE” It’s Westlife screaming at the top of their voices, from my phone to Mr Laye. Then, there’s another dramatic pause before he brings his masculine structure close to me. I can’t breathe, I don’t want to breathe. All of a sudden, he…..

…does something that I haven’t quite thought about haha. This could be my movie moment however; it’ll never go down like that so, that’s not happening. Fantasies are lot more interesting. I could live with that for now.

I put a video of “Don’t say it’s too late” – Westlife because, that is this movie’s magical song. My bittersweet line has to be “I’ll build a wall around my heart that would only break apart for you”

Love,
A
X

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