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The worst thing in life is when you wake up in the morning with tears in your eyes and not a word of the Lord on your tongue

As my pillow soaks and my memory starts flooding back, I cannot help but think my problems are bigger than the one who saved me

While every inch of my body; head, belly, heart and my soul ache
Remind me again why these demons have finally had their way. I rebuked them for Christ sake

I grew up with phrases like
‘You reap what you sow’

But somehow, I reap bitterness and disgrace. Betrayal and the very opposite of compassion

The very opposite of what I envisioned

And I cannot forget. Cannot move on. Cannot help but regret

Every step every move

Every challenge I decided to take on because I thought I understood

The way of life and the balance of good and evil

Do onto others what you want others to do onto you

As simple as it sounds, the practicality of it is untrue

So while I break down and you do nothing but observe

I’d only ask one thing

You’re the one who knows me best so tell me what I deserve

Love doesn’t live here,
A.

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